The Short List

Here are some quick updates on me, as of 9 pm tonight:

1. I hate taking Luke to the doctor. Especially when they make me hold down his arms while they stick him with a shot. It never gets easier.

2. This season of Biggest Loser is awesome. Only three weeks in and I am crying every week. The self-sacrificing and teamwork displayed this week really pureed my heart (in a good way).

3. Eating brinner (or breakfast for dinner) is pretty nice sometimes. Tonight we had sausage, eggs and cinnamon bread and it felt like a little treat.

4. I had a two hour nap today and felt pretty good about it.

5. I stayed up until 1 am last night watching One Tree Hill. Thus the need for #4.

6. I can't quite give up tea. I love it so much. But it does not love me. In fact it gave me three kidney stones. So instead, I have decided to go the unsweetened route. If you know me, this is a big deal.

7. In my first math class in 9 years, College Algebra, I just took my first test and got a 91. I am super pumped about that.

8. I have been riding my bike lately and I hope to make it a new habit. My bike has a baby seat on the back and Luke and I both love it.

9. My sister's wedding reception was on Saturday and I had a blast seeing family and friends. And now my summer of plans has officially ended. My calendar just blew wide open.

10. My cousin and his wife just announced that they are pregnant today. Congratulations!! The due date is in May and I am pumped. This will be the first cousin pregnancy since my own. Finally someone for Luke to play with.

So that's me this week. Short and sweet. It's been a busy week and it promises to get busier with a quiz due this week, a new class starting in 2 weeks and a little tornado named Luke in the center of it all.

Ant Misbehavin'

My family and I were enjoying some outdoor time yesterday afternoon when Luke started playing with some rocks beside the waterfall. He has done this several times before so we thought nothing of it. After a minute, Luke started screaming and crying. When I ran to get him he had ants all over his feet and legs. I quickly dunked him in the pool and after a minute he calmed down. It turned out that the one rock he had overturned was covering up a giant ant mound and they were none too happy to have their home discovered. And so they attacked my poor bambino and his sweet, soft skin. All was well in the bite department when we went to sleep last night. However, upon waking this morning we found bites all over his legs, hands and feet. Several fingers are slightly swollen and one foot is puffy and red. There are about twenty bites on one foot alone. Of course I freaked out and called the doctor who said that there was nothing to worry about and suggested Benadryl for the swelling. So, my little dude is now sleeping soundly with his swollen digits. My mom said it best when she told Luke, " I am mad at those ants". Poor baby. He doesn't seem too agitated by them though. I guess they look worse than they are. And trust me, they look pretty bad. I almost added a picture for proof but decided not to gross anyone out today. Wednesday we have an appointment for our 2 year check-up and the dreaded SHOTS so the doctor can wait. But thank goodness for on-call nurses who are willing to answer hysteric mother's questions.



Oh and p.s., the ant mound was taken care of by one vengeful Paw Paw with a can of highly dangerous ant bait. So long suckers. And good bye to you as well readers.

Sleight of Hand

Ever been to a magic show? Or seen magic in a movie? I have done both and I was pretty impressed with the sleight of hand magic. I find the up-close magic pretty remarkable when you think about it. And truthfully, I don't think about it all too much. But take the movie the Prestige, somewhere in there it talked about people's need to believe in the magic. And this need to believe in something magical sustains the success of the magic trick. We want to believe that the impossible is in fact possible and that looks are sometimes deceiving. I am feeling this need in my life at present and wishing for some magic of my own. In recent days someone told me that they wanted to see me in "bliss". The idea being that I seemed fine, even happy, with my life and my situations but not completely filled with joy. I wanted to refute this statement and make a counterargument but I just couldn't. I do feel happy and content. But am I filled with bliss and joy? No, not yet. Well, not entirely anyway. But I want to be there. I so desperately want to feel completely fine with everything and for people in my life to not have the power to hurt me anymore. In essence, I want to not care anymore about what people think and feel so that I can just be and feel free to do my own thing. But this is not the case. I do care. I care a great deal. Even when i really would rather not. I want to be completely healed from the hurts of my marriage and move forward. Most days I can but sometimes this is just a trick of the eye. Some days I am doing my own sleight of hand and convincing myself that things are more than they seem. I am in need of magic. I am in need of trust, patience and faith that this will all pan out and that it was not for nothing. I do believe that but sometimes, as with magic, seeing isn't always believing. Sometimes you have to feel and touch and know where the girl in the box went. Does this make sense? Anyway, I had a conversation with my husband lately and in the middle of the conversation I got upset about something. After I hung up I wished I wasn't upset. More precisely, I wished that those types of things didn't still make me upset. I wished that I was more secure in my current situation, more solid somehow. I had wanted so hard to believe something that was not there. Anyway, I know it will get there and that it is getting there, even as I type this. So I am not worried, I am just impatient. Life is good for me and I am enjoying everyday. It is just not perfect. But when is it ever? That doesn't keep me from expecting magic to happen.

Perfect Harmony

I don't know about you, but I am super pumped about fall TV programming because it means there is actually something good to watch on the television most evenings. I usually stick by my old favorites because I am not a fan of trying new things. I like the old and familiar. However, since the promos started running I have had my eye on Glee. As soon as I could, I checked this show out and the verdict is... AMAZING!!! This is like my own little musical every week. Who could ask for anything more? I think it is so funny and creative and entertaining. I am loving and hating certain characters already. I wish my choir experience in HS would have been more like this. I am .looking forward to watching this show all season. And for those of you who have seen the show... am I the only one who kind of wanted to join the Acafellas?

Mr. Independent

There comes a time in every mother's life when the baby is officially no longer a "baby", he is a "toddler". Now toddlers are pretty cool because they move and communicate much better than babies and they start to become very fun, entertaining and funny. At 2 years old, my little toddler is a mixed bag of emotions and skills. He is saying sentences, throwing minor tantrums, and doing everything for himself (or trying to). And as of last week, he is also going to school. Well, more like Mother's Day Out, but still an institute of higher learning. I will admit that the thought of sending my baby into the care of someone else two days a week, for 5 hours, made me slightly anxious. But... on that first day, as we walked into the building and his classroom for the first time, I was reminded once again how grown up he has become. My "baby" is a very big boy. He walked into that strange room full of strange people and fit right in. He grabbed a toy and made himself at home. In fact, when mommy said bye and kissed his sweet cheek, he said "bye mommy" over his shoulder without even a second glance. In that moment he made his point: he is growing up and spreading those little wings bit by bit, everyday. Contrary to normal Leslie behavior, I did not cry when I said goodbye or even in the car afterwards. I think what I felt most was comfort and pride. I was so pleased to know that he could hold his own and have the confidence to do new things without me. It made me feel that I was doing something right. It made me think that I was being "faithful" with the responsibilities God had given me in raising that boy. Of course, when I picked him up he was crying and all of those warm feelings from the morning completely vanished. As of today, we have gone to school 3 times, had 2 show and tells and learned 1 new color. He is liking school which puts a huge smile on my face. Luke is the youngest kid in his class and I was worried about that. But like most worries, this was futile and premature. He is doing quite well. Yesterday I went early to pick him up and I got to watch him from afar without him knowing. And what I saw was a content, confident, willing little guy fitting right in and having a blast.

Here is my big boy on his first day of school:

These are My Confessions:

I think I may have mentioned before, on multiple occasions, that I am a Hannah Montana fan. This is not to be confused with being a Miley Cyrus fan. Those are two very different things and I am the former. Earlier today I did something that I am a little ashamed of... I rented the Hannah Montana movie and I watched it. And, I was really excited about watching it. And whats more, I really liked it. I mean, sure, it was sort of cheesy and melodramatic in that Disney teen-queen kind of way. But it was also really sweet and I will say, rather reluctantly, that I even cried a bit in certain parts. Mostly it was the song, " The Climb". I like this song and I have liked it for a while now. I really relate to the lyrics, they touch me in a very tender place at this point in my life. For those of you who aren't as "familiar" with the Hannah Montana realm as I am, the song goes like this:



" I can almost see it, those dreams I'm dreaming but

there's a voice inside my head saying, ' you'll never reach it'.

Every step I'm taking, every move I make feels

lost with no direction. My faith is shaken.

But I, I gotta keep trying.

I gotta keep my head held high.



There's always gonna be another mountain,

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

and sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

It aint about how fast I get there.

It aint about whats waiting on the other side, it's the climb.



The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking

sometimes might knock me down but

no, I'm not breaking.



I may not know it but these are the moments

that I'm gonna remember most, yeah.

Just gotta keep going.

But I, I gotta be strong

and just keep pushing on.



Keep on movin, keep climbin',

keep the faith, keep your faith. "



Now, I realize there are a lot of "gonna" 's in that song. Maybe too many to actually appreciate it. But today, as Hannah was singing that song, I started crying. In my life, at this exact moment in time, I am facing huge giants. These giants are bigger than I thought possible and they just won't leave me alone. I've learned, somewhat, how to ignore them and band-aid them but those quick fixes don't really help. My giants are out of my hands and they are not going away. These giants are part of my life right now and I have to face them, head on. And this means that I have some big decisions to make that will not be made easily, but will be made thoughtfully and prayerfully. I realize I am being somewhat vague and I'm not exactly sure why. These giants I am referring to are my marriage and my family and the evolution of what those things have become and the state they are in and could be in. There are so many factors and so many feelings and it becomes quite hard to wade through all of that and get down to what is best and what is ultimately right. Everyday I am facing emotions and thoughts and decisions that I never thought I would face and never hoped to face. And in those times it is about just keeping the faith and pushing on. I honestly do not know what is on the other side of these mountains. I could not tell you if I will fall or not. But I do know that what really matters is how I handle this battle. What I do with these scenarios is what life is all about. I hope I will be like Hannah.... no, I'm kidding on that. I know she isn't real and even if she was, i wouldn't want to be her. But I do think that when you want to do it right, there are always a million voices trying to persuade you to go this way and that way and it can become very difficult not to get lost. And what is really scary is that thought that sometimes you do have to lose. Sometimes it doesn't go the way you hoped. Sometimes all of that work and sweat and tears that you sacrificed on the journey, amount to nothing more than a whopping life lesson. Sometimes they don't change a thing. Except for this... the blisters. Each trial, and the work that goes into it, gives you blisters and burns that eventually turn into callouses. Not the bad kind that make you too hardened. I am talking the kind of calluses you need to play guitar, rock climb, garden,etc. The kind of calluses that help you tolerate the pain and pressure so that you can do what you need to do and even enjoy it. Maybe that is what life is... building callouses to better endure the spiritual battles. Who knows? Not me. I am just a 28 year old gal who watches Hannah Montana for fun and even manages to derive a life lesson from it. Trust me... do NOT take my word for it.

Oh, Mexico

This has been a week of settling back in and getting back on schedule. All of this readjusting has left little time for blogging- even though I have still been taking photos for blog stories. So basically, I am really far behind in everything that I want to tell you readers. At this point, I don't even know how many people are still reading my blogs but I will assume that those who do are avid fans and appreciate my ramblings and musings.
My trip to Cabo was VERY nice. If my little dude hadn't been back here without me I would have tried to organize a way to stay in Mexico forever enjoying the blue water and nice weather. I did a lot of relaxing and reading on the beach and beside the pool. My friend Brook gave me this hilarious book to read and I laughed out lot multiple times forcing many of my family members to request to read the book after me.

We rode ATV's on the beach, enjoyed a sunset cruise and even worked in some water aerobics and salsa lessons to stay in shape. I ate and drank way too much but loved every minute of it. The week ended on a high with my sisters wedding and beach reception. It was lovely and intimate and just right. I highly recommend going to Cabo if you have a chance. Rest assured that this past week has been full of fun and adventure, some of which will be documented at a later date. We are now back in the swing of things.

When You're Smiling...

... the Whole World Smiles with You.

We were doing an awful lot of smiling this week since two major events happened. First, Luke turned two - for fake, last Saturday and for real today. And second, my sister got married - for real on Tuesday and for fake next Friday in Cabo. With weird Mexican laws they have to be there for 4 days before they can get married so they got hitched at the JOP on Tuesday and are having their "ceremony" in Cabo on Friday. So this week has been full of parties, ceremonies and lots of packing and planning. Some of our great moments were caught on film and others you will have to visualize based on my retelling. Last Sunday, Luke's grams stayed and swam with us and we had a fun time showing her all of the swimming tricks he has learned. He really thinks he is a "biggity butt" (as we like to call it) because he can swim. He is even diving (with help) underwater to pick up items that he has thrown in the pool.

On Tuesday, we had the wedding. Luke did pretty well except for shouting "PawPaw" a few times during the ring exchange. It was short and sweet and the Judge was pretty funny.

Afterwards, my parents and Luke and I went to eat at this place we have never been before called Clay's. It was a fun atmosphere. There were lots of patios and decks to eat on and a barn in the back with horses, cows and goats. This was Luke's first experience feeding an animal other than the dog so he found it hilarious when the cows tongue engulfed his hand. He also got to pet a horse for the first time and this was pretty fun. We even had to go back to the horse stall, twice, from the parking lot, to say goodbye to the "horsey".

But what we didn't get a photo of was the peacock. Yes, they had 2 peacocks freely roaming about on the eating deck. We had decided to sit outside to enjoy the weather and that peacock smelled our food and was very hungry. First he circled our table to see what scraps would land his way. And then, seeing as that wasn't working, he started pecking at the fries on my plate - as I was eating! It scared me and I kind of freaked out. This made Luke nervous and he started doing this very nervous laughter that sounded pretty crazy. Thus, we moved everything inside and ate in relative safety with Luke periodically asking where the "chicken" was. I think he may have been slightly traumatized by that hungry bird.

Wednesday was a shopping day. We just had to buy outfits for the trip so we packed up our car and drove to the Katy Mills Mall. Luke only enjoyed himself for the first hour and then it was a struggle to keep him in the stroller and in a good mood. However, lunch at the Rain forest Cafe and a ride on the food-court- carousel sure helped.

On Thursday we went to a Meet-the Teacher- event at the Mother's Day Out program Luke will be attending in 2 weeks. This was pretty fun. We met his classmates and his teachers. There was one grandmother there with her grandson who became very attached to my mother in the ten minutes we were there. Her 2 year old grandson does not speak at all, nor does he have any experience with other children. But he laughed and played with Luke. All was well until he grabbed for Luke's toy and then Luke got mad and told him to "stop it" with a very assertive voice. I think he will do just fine. And to prove this, he cried when we had to leave.

On Friday, my parents accompanied us to the zoo for Luke's birthday field trip. Since we went last year on his birthday, we decided to make it an annual tradition.

It was 10 times more fun this year and that little dude went crazy. He ran everywhere and was so sweaty. He was asleep within five minutes of getting in the car again. A lot sure dies change in one year though.

What the camera didn't capture was my son tattling one me to my mother. While my mom was out I was entertaining Luke by throwing a cup in the air and catching it. Because I am clumsy, the cup slipped and flew on top of the kitchen cabinets. It knocked a picture down and I tried to put it back but it looked bad. So when mom got home I told her I had knocked her picture down. Then Luke came over to her and said, "mommy. cup. up there. fell down". That kid ratted me out. Since I was going to tell anyway, I didn't care so much about that as I did about him being able to report what I had done. I am in trouble now because I have a snitch in my midst. No more blaming the kid.

And then today came. And today is Luke's 2nd birthday. We made a special Birthday Breakfast and gave him two small gifts to unwrap. After that I had to take him to his dad. Since we are leaving tomorrow, this was the last I will see of him until Sunday, the 13th. I cried and kissed him and squished him so tight. I will miss that baby more than I can say. But a week on the beach without parenting will be wonderful too.

So now I am doing last minute things to get ready for our early flight in the morning. There will likely be no posts next week since I will be on the beach. Talk to you soon enough.

Leslie