The Juggling Act

Well, admittedly it has been a while since I wrote on my blog. I have a whirlwind life right now. Some of that is obligation: like school, motherhood and work. But some of it is of my own doing. I have made a choice to re-engage in life and to rebuild a support system that is here, all around me, in THIS place and time of my life. I have great friends and a wonderful family. But my friends are in Austin and Bryan and Dallas and a girl needs people other than her family to turn to. So I have set out to make new friends and to get to know people and let them in to know me. And I must say that it is working. I joined a Women's Bible Study and I also started regularly attending a Young Singles Bible Study and Sunday School Class. And lo and behold, I have made connections and found friendship here. And I have even discovered Facebook, but that is a whole other post. So all of this socializing, mixed with all of my other obligations and activities have made me pretty busy. But... here are the newsworthy things that are happening in my life right now:

a.) I am on the President's List at my college, based on my GPA last semester. At this point I am elibigle to graduate with honors. At my age, and with all that I have on my plate, this recognition feels pretty good.

b.) My grandma was diagnosed with cancer. The details have not been determined yet and I do not know anything more than that. Tests were done and results should be in before the week is out. It is an emotional time for my family but we are banding together.

c.) I have had 3 tests this week. I have learned that Biology is the devil and that online math isn't as easy as I thought it would be.

d.) I put a lot of time and energy into reading the Percy Jackson book series and as of yesterday I am finished. I enjoyed all five books and promptly passed them on to my dad.

e.) I am pretty disappointed in the first two episodes of American Idol. It is not my favorite show but these dud performances make it worse. I was truly hoping to enjoy it this season. But I am enjoying the last season of Lost. I still don't get it but I like to try and figure it out.

f.) Shopping is really fun, but only when you are shopping for toddler clothes. I have spent more money than I needed to getting Luke ready for summer. I am talking swimsuits, sandals, shirts, shorts, hats... you name it, I bought it. It is kind of an obsession. But with Easter around the corner I can justify it.

g.) And finally, my mom accidentally knocked my camera into the hot tub and I had to get a new one. Going without a camera for a few days makes you realize how priceless your pictures are and how nice it is to be able to capture your moments.

Well, that is me in a nut shell. I got a bunch of stuff going on and so many balls in the air. Sometimes I think it is too much too fast and I am afraid of spreading myself too thin. But, I am doing what I can and enjoying the journey.

Did I Stutter?

Many of you are parents, and if you aren't then you at least know a kid or have been around one. And in that case, you know that they say the most honest and hilarious things sometimes. My little monkey has been chattering away lately. In fact, his teachers at school say that he jabbers non-stop. I love that he is expressing himself and that I don't have to try and read his mind to decipher what he needs and wants but sometimes all this talking leads to some rather strange conversations. Here are a few examples of Luke one-liners that have tickled my funny bones and, on occasion, made me stop and think:

Me: "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Him: "I a boy."

Me: "Is mommy a boy or a girl?"

Him: "You are just a mommy."

Me: "OK, but am I a boy or a girl?"

Him: "Mommy is just mommy."

This next conversation happened first thing in the morning as we were laying in bed trying to wake-up. Please note that there was nothing on TV and that prior to this we were silent.

Luke: "Mommy, I like girls?"

Me: "What?"

Luke: " I like girls."

Me: "Oh, that's good."

Me: "Let's play with your airplane."

Him: "Where are my kids?"

Me: "What kids?"

Him: "My kids. I need my kids."

Me: " I don't know where they are."

Him: "My kids are downstairs. Be right back."

Seconds later he came back holding several Little People boys and girls that do indeed fit inside the Little People plane.

This next scene happened at my grandparents house, in their backyard, on the swing set. They have two separate swings and Luke was sitting on one while I pushed him.

Luke: "Sit there, Mommy. Swing with me."

Me: "Mommy can't swing on that swing, it's for kids."

Luke: "Oh. Your booty's too big?"

Me: " Yeah."

And lastly, there was this little jewel that happened tonight as I was escorting him to his room for bedtime.

Me: "Let's go to your room and I will rock you."

Him: "I don't want to."

Me: "Go to your room. Mommy will come to."
Him: "You are bossy, Mommy."

Me: "I'm bossy?"

Him: "Yes. You are bossy."

His little words and thoughts are sometimes charming and sometimes cut right to the heart of your insecurities. But, it is so sweet to hear him speak his mind and discover his voice. And at times I think that he is the funniest and smartest kid on the planet. My baby boy is growing up and changing everyday. I can not believe that he is already two and a half. It truly does go so fast. One day they are little babies needing you every second of every day and the next day they are talking about girls and kids. I am in trouble.

Feels so Dog-Gone Good

This is Jackson (left) and Shiner (right) and they belong to my sister and her husband. (Technically this is not a picture of Shiner but he looks an awful lot like that) It is fairly safe to say that these are both large dogs. And these large dogs are what dog-people call "inside dogs". Many of you may be dog lovers and appreciate dog stories. I am not a dog lover, nor am I a dog hater. I am dog-neutral. But I am using my sisters dogs to make a point about my life right now. So bear with me as I set this up by telling you two stories about Jack and Shiner.

In college my sister lived in a small apartment with a roommate and Jack. She often took him to the park nearby to let him run and play. On one occasion, Jack was running wild and free and my sister called him back to her. He bounded back at full speed and my sister panicked. He was heading straight for her and at the last minute she stepped to the right to dodge the blow. It seems Jackson had the same idea and the two collided anyway. Rachel was sent to the ground and had the wind knocked out of her. It is rumored that the force of his 85 pounds ramming into her at high speeds even cracked a few ribs. Jackson was unharmed.

On another occasion, Rachel and the husband took the dogs to a ranch to run and play. Shiner is a Great Dane so he is easily 150 pounds. In the midst of his running and playing he spotted a cow grazing. Shiner had never seen a cow before, so he was curious. But I guess he was also a little threatened by that cow because he took off at full speed and charged the cow right in the neck. He was sent flying through the air and landed with a thud on the ground. It took a few moments for Shiner to shake off the impact of his blow and he walked away shamed. The cow did not budge or seem phased by this assault and was unharmed.

In the last year, I have felt, at times, kind of like a caged animal. I knew that there was more beyond my situations and my environment, but I had put up some walls. I needed to feel safe and I needed to heal. I removed myself from harms way by controlling my environment and limiting my stimulus. It was a good life, but it wasn't life to the fullest. I got by and I even thrived, but I still longed for the wide open spaces of a life with possibilities.

In this new year I have felt free to open up and let myself run. I have jumped into ministry and Bible Study and have made some friends. I have said all of this before, but it is more than trying new things... it is opening myself back up to people and not being afraid of being hurt or rejected. I am learning that there is wonderful freedom in just letting life come as it may. It feels nice to enjoy my open spaces without worrying about the unforeseen dangers. I do feel like a dog that has been set free and is allowed to run and be uninhibited.

There is joy in just stretching my legs and running as fast as I can. I know this is a cheesy metaphor, but it seems about right. I am happy right now and I have finally gotten my joy back too. With this new energy and zest I am ready to tackle a few of my own cows and just see what happens. I may wake up dazed and defeated or... I might give it a few broken ribs. Either way, I am finding that seizing opportunities and enjoying the fun of living life is so much better than watching it from your safe place. Crazy things happen when you set something free that is used to being confined. The familiar is great, but sometimes a little adventure is good for the soul.

The Tribe Has Spoken

Tis a new season of the TV show SURVIVOR. This is season 20, to be more precise. And it promises to be a really good season. They have brought back people (heroes and villains) from the past 19 seasons to compete against each other. As you know, my family loves to compete and loves to win. For these reasons we have started a Survivor pool. This Thursday was the premiere event and we got together for a launch party. I had so much fun watching this show with people who love it as much as I do. For me, this was better than the Superbowl. I actually care who wins this game, because if it is me I can win $170. That is some hefty change. For the party, I put my skills to use and made a chart. After the show, everyone received two photos of themselves and placed their bets.

Fire represents life in this game and so far we are all alive and well. It is anybodies game at this point. I am pleased with my chart and with my picks and I am hoping to take away the prize. I will keep you posted on my success in this game because I know you are riveted by the excitement in my life. To the 16 other people competing against me I wish you well. To everyone else... don't you wish you could play too?

No Time to Say Hello. Goobye.

Sorry I haven't written in a while. But as this picture is trying to convey, i am having a busy week. Good, but busy. So I my blog is UNDER CONSTRUCTION right now and I will be working on it again really soon. No one erase my blog due to inactivity or anything (Sara). I have plenty of things going on and lots to say about them. But for now, I am going to bed. 6:30 comes quick when you aren't in the mood for waking up. What am I saying? It's late and I am obviously delirious. Stay tuned for more.

Keep on the Sunny Side, Always on the Sunny Side

Thirty days are done as of today and I am officially yeast free. That is the hope anyway, since I have deprived myself of everything that I love to reach that very goal. I am 15 pounds lighter than when I started and I am feeling good and looking better than I have in a while. More energy, more stamina, more fit... turns out these last 30 days have been pretty good for me. I am eating better, running farther and sleeping better than I have in many years. Who knew healthy living could feel this good? I sure didn't. I was quite content with my ice cream and pizza. It sure is a heck of a lot easier to sit and veg out than it is to actually work on being healthy. And I don't care what anyone says - it is surely work. I am not one of those people who "looks forward" to working out. I may never be that person. But I HAVE come to appreciate the effects working out has on me - so I endure it. At any rate - I am feeling like this new me is feeling a lot better, physically, so I am going to continue on with the diet and exercise for a while longer and just see where it takes me. I have some goals for myself and for once I motivated enough to pursue them, legitimately.

I am feeling pretty good, mentally and spiritually as well. I am getting more involved in my Sunday School class (Life Group) and finding some friends there. Plus, I just started a women's Bible Study on Wednesday mornings where I am in a group with other mothers and that feels awesome. And lastly, I have a new Bible Study group (Home Group) starting this Friday night that I am going to check out. I am finally feeling like I have a life. I am not just Leslie, the mother. Or Leslie, the daughter. I am out there living life and finding my way. I am making friends and challenging myself. I am getting an education and making some money and feeling pretty great about who I am and what I am accomplishing. Everything is falling together for me and I feel like it is a new season of my life. Out with the old and in with the new. I have moved past the regrouping stage and I am now in the action stage. I am taking action towards the things that I want and need. And I think it is about time.