So, this week has been pretty rough for me. I am still dealing with some changes in my life and finding that it is not as easy as I had hoped it would be. Of course, I think my stressful work and school schedule and the fact that I am perpetually tired and moving may be adding to this. I would venture to say that I am "getting through" things. Although, not as gracefully as I would have hoped. This is the place for honesty so I will just say it. I have cried a lot, analyzed a lot and basically felt like a weak and silly basket case. When I think on how I would like to be handling this situation, none of those adjectives show up. After all, it is just a break up. They happen to thousands of people, everyday. But this is happening to me and, thankfully, it doesn't happen everyday. I feel like a great big downer by writing this dreadful blog today. However, this is how I process and I could use some mental exhaling.
As a social worker, I took a class in college called Death and Dying. I know, sounds like a hoot, right? In that class, we learned about the 5 stages of grief. Although intended for people who are facing their own death, the list is generally seen as applicable to any crisis or event in ones life that produces the sense of loss. Now, I am in no way trying to say that my situation is anywhere near the vicinity of being like death. But it is a loss none the less. That sounds a bit dramatic, but it is true. If I did not consider it as such then I shouldn't have been in the relationship to begin with. So, today's Listamania consists of the 5 stages. I include this list because I find it helpful to understand the things I am thinking and feeling in this context. It makes me feel less like a basket case.
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Who feels better? Gosh, what a serious downer of a post. I debated writing this but then thought, if it helped me then maybe it will help someone else. I need to tell you that I am fine. Currently. I may be wrestling through the technicalities, but I am at least working my way through. No need to worry about me. I may be presenting myself as damaged and destroyed. But I am neither of these things. I am just a girl with emotions and a blog. So... bear with me, all. Wait for that upswing, because it will come. I want it to come. I wait and welcome it.
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