Let the Records Show

I am going to be tooting my own horn here a little bit. Please allow it because I could use the affirmation. It has just been one of those weeks where multiple things weighed heavily on my mind and my heart. I was wearing quite the heavy yolk and feeling just miserable beneath its weight. You see, I am what you would call a decisive person. It has been said that I may even be "rash" in my decision making. And, I admit, I do things kind of on impulse sometimes. And, every time, I always think what a huge mistake that was. So, for me to not be able to make a decision, to be stuck in the in between, means one of two things: 1) that I know what I need to do, but I'm fighting it or 2) that my head and my heart are in a battle of motives and a victor hasn't been crowned yet.

It just so happens that there were two situations this week that I could not move past, one for each of those categories. But, happy to say that today I laced up my big-girl shoes and did the hard thing. One felt good, and the other is a work in progress. I like to make educated choices, where all the information is presented before me. However, I am not always afforded that benefit. Sometimes I have to make a choice based on the facts presented to me, even with gaping holes in the equation. And then sometimes, I am waiting for blanks to be filled that have already been filled, I just refused to see it. It's the classic case of only hearing what you want to hear. It is a defense mechanism that has served me... not so well.

My heart feels lighter today for having chosen to move forward and not stay still. I think that sometimes it is easier to just run in place, because at least then you know what to expect from your surroundings. It takes much more courage and faith to move ahead, to the unknown. My mind has been made up. In one instance, the right thing one out over the easy thing. And in the other situation, I chose to simplify. While I wouldn't say that either of these things felt awesome, they do feel resolved, in the sense that they will no longer consume my mind.