Today marks the one year anniversary of the day my husband left and our marriage, and my life changed. It was a day like any other day and yet it forever changed all the days that came after it. My life since that day has been an ongoing process of healing, bleeding, healing, bleeding, healing and scarring. To say that I have walked through this changed is an understatement. I have been more than changed, I have been transformed. I had to put some serious money where this big mouth of mine is when it came to living what I preach. I hope I fared well in that department. What I do know is that I picked myself up, put the pieces back together and started my life anew, with the tools that I had left. It was hard and I relapsed several times but it did not define me or defeat me. I won't lie though, I woke up today and felt somewhat sentimental and reminiscent. That was a huge part of my life. I cherished my role as wife and mom. But... God closes doors just as surely as He opens them. He gives and takes away. This life of mine is so short and I want to live it and not tolerate it. So, while it has been sad... it has also been full of searching and finding. I have found myself, inner strength, faith and hope. This path I am on now feels really good. I have got one more week of school until the end of my first semester. One step closer to starting my new career. I love this life. It is flawed and it is fleeting, but it is mine. I have this supportive family, some loving friends, a church I am enjoying, a son I adore and a future that is hopeful and full of promise. All of this is my way of saying that I welcome today. It sort of ends the circle of a year I am glad to finish. Lessons learned. Hearts broken. Faith tested. And I survived.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
365 Days of Change
Today marks the one year anniversary of the day my husband left and our marriage, and my life changed. It was a day like any other day and yet it forever changed all the days that came after it. My life since that day has been an ongoing process of healing, bleeding, healing, bleeding, healing and scarring. To say that I have walked through this changed is an understatement. I have been more than changed, I have been transformed. I had to put some serious money where this big mouth of mine is when it came to living what I preach. I hope I fared well in that department. What I do know is that I picked myself up, put the pieces back together and started my life anew, with the tools that I had left. It was hard and I relapsed several times but it did not define me or defeat me. I won't lie though, I woke up today and felt somewhat sentimental and reminiscent. That was a huge part of my life. I cherished my role as wife and mom. But... God closes doors just as surely as He opens them. He gives and takes away. This life of mine is so short and I want to live it and not tolerate it. So, while it has been sad... it has also been full of searching and finding. I have found myself, inner strength, faith and hope. This path I am on now feels really good. I have got one more week of school until the end of my first semester. One step closer to starting my new career. I love this life. It is flawed and it is fleeting, but it is mine. I have this supportive family, some loving friends, a church I am enjoying, a son I adore and a future that is hopeful and full of promise. All of this is my way of saying that I welcome today. It sort of ends the circle of a year I am glad to finish. Lessons learned. Hearts broken. Faith tested. And I survived.
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Sweet Leslie,
ReplyDeleteThrough my stream of tears, I am incredibly impressed and reminded of what a remarkable young woman you are. I am truly sorry for the pain that you are going through, but I stand amazed by your strength and faith. To God be the glory.
Love you,
Michele